I look back at all my old entries and times change! This is my second year in college and I like it for the most part. The only uncomfortable part about it is that i'm seven months pregnant and I sometimes get dirty looks from people! My professors are very nice to me though! They let me slack a little bit.

I'm having a little girl. Her name is going to be Bailey Elizabeth. Josh is great! I have been with him for more than a year and a half now. We are renting a house in Peachtree City. I am going to miss my mommy! I work at a day care right now called Discovery Point. I really like it there...

Well I guess there's a little update. Our little girl is due on December 31. I think i'm going to get my labor induced because i'm giving birth at gwinnett medical and we live in peachtree city...and it would suck to go into labor on a friday during rush-hour.


First Name: Rebecca
Middle Name: Anne
Birthday: 12/21/86
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Brunette
Fav color: Black
Day/Night: Night
Fave Food: Italian
Do you ever wish you had another name? yes
Do you like anyone? no
Which one of your friends acts the most like you?Elyse
Who's the loudest?Barbie
Who have you known the longest of your friends?Bethany
Who's the shyest: Bethany
Are you close to any family members?
When you cried the most: when I was 15
What's the best feeling in the world: Being in love
Worst Feeling: when someone breaks your heart
Let's walk on the: beach
Let's run through: the woods
Let's look at the: photographs
What a nice: view
Where did all the: ducks go
Why can't you: leave me alone
Silly, little: kids
Tell me: your name
Ran away from home: no
Pictured your crush naked: dont have one
Skipped school: yes
Broken someone's heart: yes
Been in love: yes
Cried when someone died: yes
Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: yes
Done something embarrassing: yes
Done a drug: yes
Cried in school: yes
Your Good Luck Charm: dont have one
Person You Hate Most: Emily horne
Best Thing That Has Happened: hasnt happened yet
Ice Cream: strawberry
WHO Makes you laugh the most: joshua
Makes you smile: joshua
Has A Crush On You: joshua
Do You Have A Crush On Someone: joshua
Fallen for your best friend?: no
Made out with JUST a friend?: yes
Kissed two people in the same day?: yes
Had sex with two different people in the same day?: no
Been rejected: .yes
Been in love?: yes
Been used?: yes
Done something you regret?: yes
Cheated on someone?: yes
Been called a tease: yes
You touched?:joshua
You talked to on the phone?: barbie
You hugged?: joshua
You instant messaged?: elyse
You kissed?: joshua
You yelled at?: my mom
Who text messaged you?: barbie
Who broke your heart?: scott
Who told you they loved you?: joshua



Wow, So this is my 4th day in college, and I really like it. It gives you so much more freedom then high school. I'm only taking 3 classes but I'm considered full time because I have 12 credit hours. I'm taking Math, English, And Reading. Fun...anyways we have a break so I figured I'd write in here. I've seen so many people I know. And I made some new friends, so it's been really cool. Anyways the break is over. Hope everyone is doing well..adios

gooooooooooooooosh my friends are all messing up..and it makes me angry..2 inparticular..i want to scream..i'm just going to stop caring..give up..

i'm ready to start my life..not end it.

i'm on my way to having a clean criminal record! yay!
I'm going to college in the fall!
I'm moving out soon..and living with my wonderful boyfriend!!

So thats it..i'm going to take a nap.

Oh, And i'm getting a new a daycare. wonderful :p

good grief

There is really something wrong with people in this world..

#1) Micheal Jackson is not guilty...what the hell? he is as guilty as sin..let's get it straight the man is just messed up in the head..everyone knows he needs physcological help...somebody please help the nut case!!!! i'm so pissed...god will punish him one day by sending his ass to hell. i just pray that he gets help because the man is just makes me sick to think that he was found not guilty..

#2) Has anyone ever watched Nanny 911? I watch it every week...and it usually doesnt bug me..but this week. I wanted to climb through the tv and slap the living hell out of the parents of the two children. There was a 3 year old boy and a 4 year old girl and they still used no..never!!! that was just bad..and they cried all the time and hit there mom..oh child would get a was making me sooo mad because the mom was a pushover and let her kids run all over her. if my kids ever act like that..there will be a butt spanking with the belt. I'm so mean but there's a time for fun and there's also a time for discipline.

#3) Criminals are stupid..And Georgia seems to get all the bad publicity....I mean first we had Brian Nichols..then we had the crazy lady who ran away from her future husband..and then we had the two dumbasses on the crane..lord, i wish we had good publicity..

i'm done ranting..i just thinking this world is very messed maybe i'm just cynical


so it's another saturday night and i'm sitting at my house...funnnn...anyways i went shopping today..i ended up buying 4 really cute shirts. elyse and i went to six flags yesterday..i used to hate roller coasters..but yesterday i had sooo much fun..i needed to have fun and just take a break to myself. i hate the damn rain..this means josh prolly wont get to ride tonight. i hope he does good if he does ride...i was going to go..but the rodeo was all the way out in fayetville and i have to work at 7 am hopefully i'll just see him tomorrow night. i have to take the compass test for perimiter on monday at 10. I really dont wanna take it. i'm waiting for the bAD SAnta movie to come on, i really like it. there's this song by garth brooks that describes how josh feels about rodeo and how i feel about it..i like rodeo..but i dont know if i can handle him being away every saturday and sunday..i looked at a new's a honda civic..well it's a 99..but its in good condition and it's 10,000. If i get the bank to finance it i will end up saving 1,400 dollars..anyways i think josh is going to co-sign if i get it..i'm getting the civic because my mother will not sign my car over to my i'm giving her back the car and buying my own..i'm supposed to move out by July but I dont know how thats going considering we havent even looked into it all that well...i wish i wasnt so tired..i am too young to feel this old..i hate being on feet for 7 hours a sucked because today i had the wrong shoes on and i got blisters on my i guess i'm going to lay down and be you all..

-By: Garth Brooks

His eyes are cold and restless
His wounds have almost healed
And she'd give half of Texas
Just to change the way he feels
She knows his love's in Tulsa
And she knows he's gunna go
Well it a'int no woman, flesh and blood
It's that damned old rodeo

Well it's bulls and blood
It's dust and mud
It's the roar of a Sunday crowd
It's the white in his knuckles
The gold in the buckle
He'll win the next go' round
It's boots and chaps
It's cowboy hats
It's spurs and latigo
It's the ropes and the reins
And the joy and the pain
And they call the thing rodeo

She does her best to hold him
When his love comes to call
But his need for it controls him
And her back's against the wall
And it's "so long girl, I'll see you"
When it's time for him to go
You know the woman wants her cowboy
Like he wants his rodeo

It'll drive a cowboy crazy
It'll drive the man insane
And he'll sell off everything he owns
Just to pay to play the game
And a broken home and some broken bones
Is all he'll have to show
For all the years he spent chasin'
The dream they call rodeo

It's the broncs and the blood
It's the steers and the mud
And they call the thing rodeo

this is my song

"You made a fool of me"
-India Arie

I remember when you filled my heart with joy
Was I blind to the truth or just there to fill the space
Cuz now you have no interest in anything that I have to say
I've allowed you to make me feel
I feel so dumb
What kind of fool am I?
You so easily set me aside


You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you dont care but we made love
Tell me why
You made a fool of me
You made a fool of me

I want to kiss you
does she want you with the pain I do
When we're face to face you dont look me in the eye
No time no friendship no love
You say dont touch you
I cant touch you no more
I cant touch you anymore


You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you dont care but we made love
Tell me why
You made a fool of me
Tell me why..
I feel like such a fool
Tell me why

i love rodeo

I went to my 1st rodeo last night, It was great..I had a lot of fun..I'm glad Josh introduced me into the rodeo world..I met some bullriders, we got to go behind where we really werent allowed..but since Josh knew everyone there we got away with a lot..I learned a lot..I wanted to wear a cowboy hat but I didnt have one..the bull's were mean..I was so close to them..and they were making mean noises..the rodeo was in Alpharetta at will's park. There is a rodeo in Douglasville tonight but i'm not going. Josh is going to ride there tonight. I really wanted to go and see him ride. But he said that it would mess him up if he knew I was there because he would try to hard and probably mess up...or if we got in a fight before it he would have his mind on what we fought about and mess i dont wanna take any chances and mess up his chance to win the competition..I am very depressed now for some reason..I just want to cry. Not just because of him..I'm so confused on what I need to do now..I dont know where I need to be. I feel like i'm all alone sometimes..sometimes i wish i could just move where no one knew where i was,throw my cell phone away and live all alone. But then other times i want to be in the spotlight and tAlk to everyone..but I dont know anymore..all I know is right now I feel so lonely. I'm really scared..I have a lot of problems that I need to work out with myself. I made an appointment to see a therapist. I promised Josh I would because he found out..Maybe i'm just messed up in my head. I dont understand why I do some of the things I do..maybe i'm just clynically depressed. I dont know anymore. I know this shit is sappy..and I dont want attention for this. I just need to write my feelings down before I do something stupid. This is how I should take out my depression, I should just write. I've hurt a lot of people in my life. I'm deep down really sorry for everything I've put these people through. They shouldnt have gone through it. My dad shouldnt of had to bail me out of jail. I remember it like it was yesterday, it's been almost a year...and I still feel bad..I really hurt my dad. But he's put it behind him, the only person who hasnt forgave me is my mother. I doubt she ever will get over it. One daY i'll make it up to them though. I cried on graduation because I knew how proud of me they were. And then when I got my report card my dad was dissapointed in me because I had a 79.1 GPA and i was .9 away from the Hope Scholarship. I'm dissapointed in myself actually..I should have busted my ass some more. But there's nothing I can do about it anymore..thats why i'm saving money now..I just feel sometimes like all the shit I do never adds up to anything..because there's always one person in my life who is dissapointed..I meAN i'm not perfect..i'm far from it.. I'm sorry if any of you read u all


so today was fun..i went to perimiter to get an application..i have till July 1st to turn it fun fun..then I took Whitney and little Emma out for lunch..we went out to Frontera and caught up on what was going on in each other's life..Emma is getting really cute..I cant believe she's a 1 1/2 years old..I feel so old..I remember holding her when she was just born..I love my new labtop..I get my new system installed tomorrow for my car..I cant waIT! then later, Josh and I are going to the rodeo in Alpharetta..that should be fun..I do not want to go back to work on Saturday...I have enjoyed my days off of being lazy and sleeping in, gosh I'm going to be grumpy. I'm going to need like 4 or 5 cups of

Coffee is one of the best things god ever created...and cigerattes..gosh i am pathetic..I am an addict..

Well I'm very i guess i'm off to bed.



i met elyse at the awful waffle tonight and she influenced me to drink 4 cups of coffee so now i'm wired...i have way too many addictions..i need to.....

quit smoking
quit being dependent on coffee
quit chewing on straws

god i AM SO WIRDED..i cant believe i graduated almost a week ago...this is so weird..i never imagined the day would daddy got me a new labtop..which i am on now..and my mother got me a system for my family gave me 1,000 dollars..i feel so privlaged...i put all the money in my savings...i'm doing good..i went up to North Georgia College today and I really liked the's so beautiful..even the newer dorms look's a military school but it's got a really good education program..and i want to be aN elementary school it all works plan is to go to Perimiter for 2 years and then transfer to North is good right now, I've accomplished one of my goAls and it feels family is so proud of me for once in my life...graduation made me cry...i'm going to miss everyone..but high school was a great learning experience for me and now i'm glad it's over..i'm ready to move on with my life and i look forward to accomplishing more of my goals...right now i have everything i need..i have great friends..a wonderful boyfriend..i graduated..and i'm going to college in the fall...i am ready! i am kind of scared..but its another step in life i'll get used to..there's a really good song called the blowers daughter by damien rice, it's very good..I love it..sweet. my dad is selling his house because our neighborhood is awful..we are buying a town house that is really nice..i'm hoping once we move in there i can just live with him and visit my mom on the weekends, i need to move out of her house before she drives me out of my head.

here are some things i learned from high school...incase anyone was bored enough to read this

doing homework helps grades
-dont date someone that goes to your school, when things end bad it's awkard
.....i think that's it for now
no more words of advice..

well i love you all...CONGRATS TO ALL THE GRADS OF 2005..WE DESERVED IT..THE 4 YEARS OF HELL ARE OVER all have my number..dont be strangers..

-adios chicos y chicas